Day Seven – The Worst of the Worst

Every year, a group of people get together and create a list of nominations for a show called the Razzies. This award is not something you want to be nominated for. This award show gives them out to the worst performances and movies of the year. They always fit quite well.

As a result, for my final entry today, I give you my 5 picks for the worst movies of 2009, let me know where you agree.

1)      Jennifer’s Body

Let’s be honest, the movie might as well have been called “Megan Fox Begs for More Attention!” At this point, she’s the hot girl shoving it in your face. She loves embellishing the boy crazy fans she’s gaining. This project could have had absolutely no plot, or action. Really, do you need that much of an explanation?

2)      Land of the Lost

It’s hard to imagine at what point this idea seemed like a good one to invest nearly $150 million. I got about 25/30 minutes in before I had to give up. The movie was begging for you to love by searching for laughs. What used to be Ferrell’s awesome calling card has grown exhausted beyond repair. He is one of several high dollar comedians in need of reinvention or early retirement. This is my pick for worst movie of the year hands down.

3)      The Pink Panther 2

Steve Martin is an amazing comedian. The Jerk is possibly one of the most consistent laugh-out-loud movies to ever exist. Bowfinger remains one of my top five comedies of all time. This one hurt. The brief moments that worked in the first Panther movie were taken further and effectively ruined. It hurts when comedians as talented as Martin commit to work so poor.

4)      The Twilight Saga: New Moon

I haven’t actually seen this movie, I’m just assuming. When discussing this movie with people who have seen it, and I respect their opinion, the results are not good. People have said it is an improvement on the first, but I thought the first one was crap. So New Moon must be crap with a fragrance to hide it. After all, I can’t tell if the cast is going for smoldering or constipated. Seriously, watch their faces; you’ll laugh because it’s true.

5)      G-Force

Every action must have an equal or opposite reaction. Example: Up and Pixar are examples of what Disney is doing right. As a result, they make G-Force. This is a movie that was made to mindlessly entertain kids and for parents to receive the cinematic equivalent of water boarding. The worst crime committed by this movie? By wasting perfectly good talent in the form of Bill Nighy and Zack Galafanakis, among others, who could have been entertaining us with higher quality movies. At least they could have been in a mediocre movie and made it more enjoyable.


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