Throughout the last few weeks both of us have been questioning our lives in certain respect. One area that has not changed is our marriage. Through any struggles we always find that comfort can be found in one another. In a perfect world we could just lounge around our house and do nothing. Working as teachers in a struggling, urban district proves very difficult.
Twelve hour days cause a struggle for my wife, Amber, starting her morning with classes going straight into rehearsals. She especially worries about it when it comes time for the two of us to have a child. The time schedule would prove too much for her to take care of her children and raise them ourselves. With daycare being so expensive in Colorado, we’d be using an entire paycheck just to have someone else raise our children.
We are looking forward to adding more Fowler’s to our family, a dog and a few children. She expresses her desire and excitement for this future so bluntly I find myself hiding my excitement just so we can remain logical about our plan for life. Secretly, I cannot wait to hold my child in my arms.
Amber knows I keep my feelings a bit subdued to be the rational side of our discussions. Being married, I have found myself stepping into the role of husband more by the day.
While we were watching a movie, I moved the Swedish Fish tail and head. The fish swirled upstream to a breeding ground or away from a grizzly bear. I quickly showed Amber. She then grabbed me and hugged me really tight, more so than usual.
She then said, “You’re going to be such a great daddy.”
Her justification being that I am going to play with my kids, showing them how to make a Swedish Fish look like he is swimming. Then how I can show them how to pretend to be a grizzly bear and catch the fish. Amber wants to see me show our kids these things and teach them.
Our goals in our lives include certain goals before we begin having children. Seeing her excitement sparked something in me. A unique moment spurred from such a small gesture. So from here on out I will begin blogging to set goals for myself. I have been struggling to become a successful writer for a long time now. A few moments have occurred that seemed to be the start of something great. My first feature length movie, “The Code: Legend of the Gamers,” a screenplay I wrote, “The Canvas Poets,” being considered by agents.
However, the true moment of my success has yet to come as a writer. For the last several months, I have been researching and planning to write my first novel, Current. The biggest problem is that it has stayed at research and planning. The more research I do in the science of the book, the more it reaffirms what I already have been finding out.
So at this point, the next step is what I have been procrastinating on. So here it comes on this blog, not the writing itself but a blog discussing my progress. It’s mainly a way to keep track of my progress and make sure that I am on track to accomplish what I aim to achieve.
It is a very odd thing having a piece of candy become a symbol of what you want for your future. It is a great thing thinking that someday when my kids are old enough to ask, I can tell them “I’m a writer,” It is not a very odd thing thinking about how my wife and unborn children is what’s driving me to push myself harder than ever. I hope from here on out, I will never forget what I felt the night Amber hugged me over a Swedish Fish.
This blog, and my new set goals, is going to be for my wife, the kids I haven’t had, and for myself, and it’s all happening because of a Swedish Fish.